Monday, January 28, 2008

January 28, 2008 It is just the news

Consider This for January 28, 2008-It is just the news folks.

Before my critics decide to sharpen their quill pens and write something nasty about this, I want you to know that it is supposed to be funny. It is about the funny things that were in the news last week. It is all the truth and it was not made up by the liberal media or the conservative media either. It is a small snapshot of our culture that someday someone will dig up out of the past and scratch their head and comment that they can’t believe that this was really happening the week of January 21, 2008.

Dave Barry always said, “You can’t make this stuff up.”

George Bush announced that he was supporting the economic stimulus package for what he termed, “our very strong and robust economy.” It is common knowledge that he never reads any newspapers so apparently he missed the part about the market losing over 1000 points since the first of the year and that the market has a 600 point swing last Wednesday.

Paul Danish from Boulder wrote two weeks ago that mail in ballots were a terrible idea. His fear was that people would be influenced on how to vote by their friends, relatives and their church. He must think that is better to be influenced by big money than being influenced by people we might trust.

Homeland security is a growth industry and this was evident in the closing of the Dillon Dam road. I will personally promise that the terrorists would never waste their bombs on the Dillon Dam. They would not get enough publicity. Think of the World Trade Center, the London Transportation System and the Madrid Transportation System and then think about the Dillon Dam Road. Just calm down and ignore the people who are screaming that the sky is falling.

When John Edwards was asked by David Letterman about why he was at the debate where Hillary and Barack attacked each other he responded, “I was there to represent the grownups.” What a great response. I personally think that both Barack and Hillary should drop out of the race due to severe embarrassment.

The press had a hay day with the fact that Bill Clinton fell asleep during the Martin Luther King remembrance. Then the same media folks put together a montage of Bill Clinton sleeping through all kinds of meetings. Then Dick Cheney sleeping at Cabinet Meetings. And then Hillary and Bill both sleeping during Ronald Reagan’s funeral. And people still wonder if they still sleep together?

After the sleeping expose’ Fred Thompson dropped out of the race. I am sure that he thought about how he would never be able to stay awake. He probably realized that he was putting himself to sleep.

Both Barack and Hillary have tried to resurrect a couple of dead guys on their way to the white house. Ronald Reagan and Martin Luther King reappeared last week in the campaign. There was a question about who was more important in the civil rights movement, Martin Luther King or Lyndon Johnson. I personally think that neither could have accomplished much without the other person. Apparently is not politically correct to say something nice about President Reagan if you are Democratic candidate.

I heard last week that some people think you are sexist if you don’t vote for Hillary and a racist if you don’t vote for Barack. Another indication of the shallow depths of this campaign.

Bill Clinton has stirred things up so much that Obama’s folks have started following him around as a “Truth Squad.” A 21st Century Mod Squad?

A couple of months ago I wrote that the two nominees for president would be Clinton and Gulianni. I was terribly wrong. Right now I would guess that it will be Obama and McCain.

I have said all along that we need a dark horse candidate to appear and overshadow all of this silly stuff we have had to watch and listen to for the past couple of months. Where is Daffy Duck when you need him?.

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