Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Boys of Summer

With apologies to my good friends Susie and Bill who are avid baseball fans, I want to tell you up front that baseball is probably the most boring thing that man has ever invented.  

It is right up there with watching paint dry.  

There is the seventh inning stretch which is wonderful because it signals the opportunity to get ready to leave the stadium.  

If you have an MP3 player baseball gives you the opportunity to listen to a lot of music uninterrupted by others.  

You do not even have to worry about crowd noise because the crowd never makes a sound except at the unlikely event that someone will actually hit the ball or score a run. 

I always enjoyed bringing my super powerful binoculars (yes, I am a voyeur) and watch people all over the stadium doing all sorts of things.  

The people on the far side in the really cheap seats are the most interesting.  

You can see them do the most unusual things up to and including having sex.  

Yes, it happens at the baseball stadium.  

Another excellent example of people trying to kill time waiting for the game to be over.  

As a matter of full disclosure I must tell you that I dislike all sports not just baseball.  

And yes, I have played sports, I have coached sports and I have watched every sport imaginable.   

I just think that now the new season is upon us I have a responsibility to let everyone know that baseball is probably the most worthless pastime ever invented by man.

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